Are You Addicted To Busyness? How can you overcome this addiction?
We are addicted to busyness.
A busy career, family life, and volunteering.
What if I told you that you are addicted to a drug?
Busyness is a drug!
And one we are addicted to.
In Mindful Magazine, they share that dopamine, a highly addictive drug released by the brain, is released when we are busy. This drug gives us a sense of enjoyment, relaxation and gratification. Dopamine drives our need for constant busyness.
When we are busy working on our lesson plans for school, placing orders for our business, attending meetings, generating appointments, running the kids to piano, volunteering at church, and even checking our Facebook Page, dopamine is released.
When we get the hit of dopamine, we feel satisfaction. For just a moment. Then we crave another hit of dopamine. So, we create more action. We feel good again. We crave more and more until we are addicted to this circle of action and reward.
We have become addicted to busyness.
When people ask us, “How is it going?”
We tend to respond, “I am so busy.”
It is a badge of honor to be busy. One we are proud to wear.
But, your addiction to busyness is actually a cop out and laziness.
Yes, I went there.
If you are busy doing something all the time, you are avoiding, being lazy, and a cop out.
Hear me out.
Business keeps us preoccupied with tasks. The busier we keep ourselves the following happens:
- We avoid being confronted with the big questions about our life.
- A powerful distance lies between us and the issues we are facing.
- We don’t have to work hard focusing on the difficult issues in our life because we are too busy.
- Coming face to face with life does not happen.
If we are busy, we can avoid powerful questions like:
Have I chosen the right career?
Am I present enough with my children?
How engaged am I in my marriage?
Am I living my purpose?
Andy Hix from medium.com shares, like a drug, busyness numbs you. You do not have time to notice the anxiety you have because you chose the wrong career; the angst you have about your relationship; and the fear that you are not engaged with your children.
I remember clearly when I became addicted to busyness. I lost my father to a horrific accident. My adaptive response to bereavement was to become busy. The busyness allowed me to cope with the loss I experienced in my life.
I felt good when I was working on a project or growing a business and did not have to face the turmoil in my life.
Workaholics like myself say:
“I can’t slow down. I will fall behind and fail.”
“I have to work hard to be successful.”
“I have finally found something I am good at.”
But what we are really saying is:
“I do not want to face my sadness.”
“I feel that my marriage is failing.”
“I am not confident as a mother.”
We tend to overburden ourselves and even stress ourselves because busyness is part of our identity. If we are busy, we are important. If we are busy, we have purpose. If we are busy we are trying. If we are busy we don’t have to face the difficult crap in our life. Busyness is now in our DNA. It is part of our being.
What if I told you that there is a clear alternative?
I am not telling you to get on the comfy couch and stop doing. But, I want you to face the hard shit in life.
I want you to step up and create solutions in your marriage.
I hope you have an engaging relationship with your children.
I desire you to connect to your career and business.
Let’s begin to change the busyness to purposeful activities that move your life forward in a purposeful direction.
The Cure For Your Addiction is asking tough questions. Evaluate the current reality in your life and the desires you have for your life moving forward.
Your present reality:
What area in your life are you proud of?
What areas of your life do you need to focus on?
What is in your way?
What aspect in your life do you need to say goodbye?
Your future aspiration:
Where do you want to go from here?
What are your future aspirations?
What is one action you can take to move one aspiration forward?
Once you have evaluated your present reality and defined your future aspirations, you can go from a busy schedule of activity to a purposeful agenda.
6 Tips To Go From Busyness To Purpose:
- Schedule the activities of your day from a place of purpose.
- Ensure your agenda is filled with your priorities.
- Take out the busy things in your schedule that do not align with your future aspirations.
- Show confidence in your agenda. Rather than impressing others with how busy and important you are, be confident to focus on what matters to you most.
- Schedule time to reflect on the day and learn as you prepare for tomorrow.
- Don’t make quick decisions. Calendar time for creative thinking and planning.
Everyone has a busy schedule. We get through our week and feel we accomplished something. We focus on actions that keep us busy but are avoiding life’s reality and choices.
Because it is hard.
It is much easier to stay busy and avoid life’s hard questions. But, at the end of the day, you will fall short of achievement. Your marriage will be average.
The connection with your children will be weak.
Burnout will be prevalent.
And, you will not meet your purposeful goals.
I hope you can take these tips and begin to make changes in your life.
If you want to listen to this message and connect with Melissa personally, go to the Become More Podcast.
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